joshmorton.com

First of all, I wanted to thank those of you who commented on my last blog. I would say from the results I’ve got a pretty good feeling of where the website is headed from here.

No no, there’s two “t”s in cutting sarcasm.
I don’t care if it’s my own fault. I don’t want to hear it.

I’ll update you on my job search. I guess just for the heck of it. I went back to McLean on Saturday, knowing I was going to actual get some board time in. That excited me. What I wasn’t expecting was for that time to be running Front of House (sound) for the band while the normal FOH guy played bass with the band. As soon as they told me I was running sound, I knew right away that the next couple of hours would play a large role in how this job opportunity would shape up. Most likely it would solidify whether or not they were interested in hiring me, and it probably had a lot to do with how much I would end up getting paid, as well. So the nerves hit all at once when I realized this was big–but that didn’t last long. Instead of worrying about it, I just told myself to have fun. I had one of those Independence Day speeches. You know, the one where the President rallies the troops against staggering odds and the possible loss of life, and convinces the civilians to get in the planes and fight for independence. It went something like this:

“Okay, now you’ve got a choice to make. You can either be nervous the whole time and screw up, or you can do this with the confidence you’re good at what you do and that you can do a great job. I mean, you’ve done this hundreds of times before. So if nothing else, have fun. Even if you never speak to the church again after today, at least have fun getting to run sound in a new place and with really cool equipment. Hey, you should put that on the website when this is all done.”

I think things went pretty well. After the rehearsal, I talked with Dave, the Tech Director (he would be my boss) about what was next and where exactly we were in the process. I found out I need to have one more interview, with Don (Dave’s boss), and then after that it would be time for them to offer me a job or not. Needless to say, I’m excited. I think things have gone really well, and I think there’s a very good possibility I’ll be spending the next few years of my life working at McLean Bible Church. When I say next few years, I’m thinking probably 3-5, unless God has other plans. Then after that I think I’d like to go to seminary and get some more schooling under my belt. But that’s all a long way off and a lot can happen between now and then. It’s just my thinking right now.

Anyways, you should look for the weekly columns to start in probably a month or so. I think I might opt for a second website for them, that way I can still write randomly about my life on this one. We’ll keep it a big secret, so all the masses can go to the second website, which will have a wicked-sweet name, and then the special people will know to come here and keep it real.

What lies ahead in my near future seems to be about all I think about these days. Obviously the biggie is what’s going on with McLean Bible Church, and what it will mean should I get a job there (or for that matter, what it will mean should I not get a job there). But that’s not the only issue I’ve been dealing with. Another is the future of joshmorton.com. About 10 months ago, I had finally started to build a following. There were people reading from all parts of the country, and I even had readers I had never met, who had never met me. Finally I was beginning to realize the vision I’d had when I bought my own domain some 5 years ago. Now I’m in a great battle, testing whether that domain or any domain so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.

But seriously. It’s time for the website to head one of three ways. Number one is for it to remain exactly what it is, eating away $7/month to provide me email, host my backup files, and see the occasional random, meaningless post. TWO, it can be like every other blog out there, where I write about things people don’t really care about, and I consider myself web-savvy. Or THREE, it can actually become the home of my well-conceived, purposeful writing where ideas abound, creativity is unleashed, and I say lots of things that aren’t socially acceptable and make people I’ve never met very angry. I’d really like to opt for the third, which probably means a cleaner, more visitor-friendly look and absolutely means writing deadlines for my posts.

So here’s where you, the faithful few, come in. I want to know what you like to see me write about. What topics of mine most intrigue you, and which ones do you like to hear my opinions on? For now, my goal is to pick two topics and begin writing about each once a week, thus rendering joshmorton.com a bi-weekly, you-know-on-Tuesday-and-Friday-there-will-be-a-post website. I’m not going to limit what the options are, but i will give you a few of the things I’m considering right now:

One day will probably be related to my career or profession. Not so much the KOA Snack Shop, but the one I studied in college and intend to go into. As such, it could be strictly technical in nature. Maybe you’d like to hear me write my theories about proper gain staging, or why light fixture sockets sometimes corrode, or why a Big Gulp and a $500,000 sound board don’t belong together. As a less boring option, maybe you’d like to hear me talk about some Biblical principles and philosophies about technology and worship together. I must warn you that option sounds like I’d actually have to do some homework to write about. I’m not really sure what you want to read, but in the time it took to write this last paragraph I have already decided one of the days will definitely be this category. I do want this to be a resource site for people doing the things I’m doing.

The second day is pretty much wide open, though. I’m up for talking theology, baseball, mass transportation, the space program, Einstein’s theory of relativity, C.S. Lewis books, Arthur Miller plays, television, movie reviews, or even classic Nintendo games. More than likely the category will switch periodically (I know myself well enough to expect that). But at least your input will give me some direction.

I’ve been told that you can’t write for other people, you have to write for yourself. I think that’s partially true, but I’ve also never heard of a second book deal with a writer who only sold 7 copies of their first.

I hope it’s just my computer, but I know it’s not. My website is broken. There should be a white background behind all of this text, and there’s not. Which probably means this is a lot harder to read than you want it to be. Just a helpful hint, if you hold CTRL and scroll down with your mouse wheel, the text will get bigger. That may help. Just don’t forget to put it back where it was, or everything will look funny. I have no idea why this all happened… I created a password-protected directory on my server (in a spot completely unrelated to this source code), and since then things have been screwy. Let me know if you figure it out, because it kind of defies logic.

Anyways, you’re probably all anxious to hear about my little trip down to McLean Bible Church today, so I’ll give you the short story and you can call me for the longer one. I spent a fair deal of time with the technical folks today (4pm-11pm), and got to jump right in with them, helping them with some audio setup. After that, I just kind of shadowed and gleaned as much as I could about what goes on at MBC. The answer is a lot. McLean is a church of about 11,000 I believe, and their production truly rivals any I’ve ever seen. The only church I can even draw comparisons with is Willow Creek, MBC is just that massive. What I saw tonight looked phenomenal, and I’m interested to go back Sunday and see their services in action.

So the position they’re filling is one of the many technical people they have on staff; and although we didn’t talk a whole lot about specifics, it sounds like I would just kind of be available to do whatever needs to be done in whichever venue needs the doing. Certainly I wouldn’t be stepping right into the big house and running things (Eric, whom I shadowed at the soundboard tonight, has been doing live audio & studio recording his entire professional life–not exactly territory for a college grad with a paltry two years of experience, even if they were a good 2 years). I think they also were specifically interested in someone who can do lighting effectively. Not just turning them on and off, but doing programming and design, all as part of a coordinated effort with the music and graphics teams. I had to admit that my experience in lighting has been less than first class (read: IWU was too cheap to spend the money on things my fellow techies and I needed for a real world education). However, I do know the basics, I have some experience, and I learn fast enough that I’m confident I can be an asset to MBC in lighting.

Tonight ended with an ‘interview’ over milkshakes in a diner, and to put it in Dave’s words, “we’re on to the second date.” I think I will know a lot more about what’s happening after Sunday. But what has become very evident to me is that I haven’t spent enough time seeking God’s will for my life. I feel like the exit to my future is rushing up on me and I don’t even know whether to take the highway north or south. I know McLean could be a great experience for me, but is it the right one? What about Harvester Christian Church in St. Louis, who just this afternoon sent me an email asking for my references (which means I’m still in consideration there!)?

I truly appreciate all of your prayers over today’s interview, but I need them even more that I will be able to discern God’s will and calling on my life. So as you keep praying for me, pray for that. More updates as they become available!

I’ve heard there are a few of you who are starting to believe I may actually keep writing, and are thus reading my website again. For you, I write this.

Tomorrow I’m driving down to the west side of the DC metro area. Not just for the fun of it, but because I’m going at the request of a church there who saw my resume and is interested in getting to know me better. Needless to say, I’m excited. I’ll be going down and meeting with them while they’re setting up for their weekend services, so it will be a good chance for me to see exactly what goes on behind the scenes, and see what exactly the church’s needs are. I’m confident that I will be a good match for the position, based on what I know about it so far. According to their website, the position deals mostly with staging setup & teardown, and lighting. One thing I’ve already decided is that I don’t want to get cornered into a strictly technical role within a church, so hopefully there is some involvement in the creative and planning processes, but quite frankly I’ll take anything where I can gain great experience and fulfill a calling while I’m at it. But what I want is truly immaterial–because all I really want is to follow God’s leading in my life. If this is his next step for me, then I want to be there, and if it’s not, then I will wait for his plans.

It’s a hard place for me to be, because I would very much like to feel like I am in control of my future. But I won’t be anyways, regardless of how much I feel like I am. None of my worrying is going to add a single second to my life. So I will make the daily choice to follow God’s will and put my own desires aside. Even if that means working in a snack shop for a little while longer.

Anyways, I’m going to bed. But I thought I’d clue you in on what’s happening in my life.

Oh by the way, I watched Crash tonight. One of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Incredible.

Okay, after seeing enough pictures of myself posted on Facebook, people’s blogs, milk carton backs or the bulletin boards in Walmart foyers, I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I am not photogenic. The dictionary.com definition of “photogenic” doesn’t help, either: “attractive as a subject for photography.” (I don’t like the use of the word “attractive” in there. I don’t care for the inferences all that much.) All you really have to do is flip through a few pictures you have with me in them, and you will very quickly come to the same conclusion. Every picture I’m in I just look retarded. If I’m in a group picture, everyone in the group is smiling except for me. Typically while everyone else is smiling, I’m looking like I hate the world, or like I’ve never seen a camera before and have no idea what’s about to happen, or like that one piece of furniture that always stays in the back room where you never invite your guests. I don’t know what it is, but whenever I see a camera pointed at me, smiling is about the last thing on my mind. I think I should have been Amish.