joshmorton.com

Many of you don’t even attend IWU, and therefore the only link you have to our thrice-a-week chapels is what you read or hear about it from those of us who do attend. And on top of that, those of us who are students are split between two different chapels, meaning that while worship and the message are brought by the same people and sought to be as identical as possible, there are always differences between what students hear and experience in chapels for any given day. Of course, being that I have been working tech staff for every chapel since last September (I missed one day because of Chorale, but 178 out of 180 isn’t bad), I have the opporunity to see and hear everything that goes on in Chapel.

If I can sum up Dr. Lennox’s message, it would be something to the effect of ‘trials are bad, but don’t worry… someday we’ll be in Heaven and they’ll all be gone.’ Now, I want to give him as much credit as possible, because he is far wiser and more educated than I; I am sure the goal of his message was to start the semester off with something that would spread hope among us students, who either are feeling or know we soon will feel the pressures of college life. But in the first chapel, he made one specific statement which stuck in my mind. He stated that all of the trials that we are going through are, of course, of evil origin (be it Satan, or the curse) and are, and I quote: “stamped with a sticker that says ‘Made in Hell.’”

If you ask your brethren in Christ, almost all of them would say they believe we go through trials in order to build our faith and our character. It’s very Biblical (James 1) that God allows trials to befall us in order that we may become more complete in Him. And I can’t disagree with the statement that some trials are evil in origin, and we see this in Job 1. But look at verse six, “angles came to present themselves to the LORD, and Satan also came with them.” God proceeds to ask Satan for an account for what he has been doing, and then throws out Job’s name. God actually began the process of Job’s trials. And yes, it was Satan that went about destroying Job’s life as he knew it, but the initiation of the process was God’s. It’s scripture.

One of the things I’ve been challenged with recently is this idea that trials and tribulations are not to make our lives difficult, but rather are God’s ways of stretching us and growing us into the person he wants us to be. Yes, the Word does say he gives us a way out of these times, but the challenge to me is that God’s will for me is not to seek the way out, but rather to persevere and grow through the hard times, for perseverence leads to character, and character leads to hope. (Romans 5:3-4)

Do I want to have hard times? Not really. But then again, in a way our struggles through the hard times is what defines us as a person, what defines us as a culture, and what defines us as humanity. Think about it–I can say I’m an expert in chemistry, but until my expertise is tested, there is no proof I really am. Testing of some sort is the basic structure of our entire academic process. In the same way, a friendship is not really proven until it has endured strains and hardships. And even love cannot be taken for granted. A person’s love must stand the trials it is subjected to, and only then will it truly be valid in the eyes of the loved.

I am sorry if this was just me spitting words onto my website. Lately I’ve been trying hard to read and reread my writings, trying to eliminate spelling and grammar errors, and checking to make sure I have made my point in a clear fashion. But this is pure, unedited rough draft. Just my thoughts, on paper. Sort of.

Today was my day to eat supper with Jeremy Holtrop. I don’t think I’ve said much about him on the site so far, but he is an incredible guy, and I feel so blessed to call him my friend, and have a chance to eat with him once a week just to share our feelings. Sometimes we just get together and laugh, and sometimes we have very deep conversation. Today we had one of our best conversations, just about being Christians and what it means.

Our conversation eventually focused around what it really means to be a Christian, and how we feel like it’s not at all what most people live it or believe it to be. We both talked about how much we hate the fake, shallow lives that Christians lead. To most people, it’s not about what we actually feel or think, it’s about saying the right things, doing the good things, and never saying or doing the bad things. That’s crap.
I believe absolutely in very few things. I believe that God is the one true sovereign God. I believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, lived, died on a cross, was dead and buried, and then rose on the third day. I believe that now the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf, and is our direct connection to God, made possible by the blood of Christ. Other than that, you can pretty much disprove anything else I believe, and it may make me feel like an idiot, but it won’t change the fact I believe in God.
Go to Dr. Drury’s website, and read his article, and especially Dr. Schenck’s article (which is linked right below Drury’s) to see who started me thinking these things.

To fuel the fire, earlier today in Church Music class we had a discussion on whether or not to use non-Christian musicians in a worship team. I think everyone pretty much agreed that a non-Christian could never be a worship leader, but there was a rift between the class on whether or not to use non-Christians. I understand the argument against it, I do. But I just have a real problem with the way we run our churches today.
Nothing about Jesus was acceptable to the church. He didn’t hang out with all the religious leaders talking theology and worship, he hung out with the sinners, making them feel like they were loved and accepted, regardless of the condition of their lives. In Luke 19 Jesus meets up with Zaccheus, and ends up going to his house for dinner. The verse that gets me is verse seven. It says that people grumbled because Jesus was going to be a guest in the house of a sinner. WHAT IS THE CHURCH FOR??? Why are we bickering over whether or not to let a musician play guitar in our band? The fact that there is an opportunity is one more chance to witness to one more person. There are countless stories of worship team members coming to Christ through being involved in a church!
One argument people use is the one that everyone on the worship team–regardles of their role–is a leader. Well, unless they left it out, none of the gospel writers ever mentioned Jesus asking if the boy was a Christian before taking his small lunch and feeding thousands with it. Maybe you don’t think so, but I’m pretty sure all the other little boys looked up to that kid after that. Jesus didn’t ask if he was a Christian, he simply used the opportunity to change that boy’s life forever. It wasn’t normal! It wasn’t “right”! Jesus didn’t do things that made religious leaders happy. He did things that changed the world.
In Mark 9, the disciples stopped a man who was casting out demons in Jesus’ name, but wasn’t traveling with Jesus. But Jesus told them not to stop him, and said these words about it: “Do not hinder him, for there is no one who will perform a miracle in My name, and be able soon afterward to speak evil of Me. For he who is not against us is for us. For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because of your name as followers of Christ, truly I say to you, he will not lose his reward.” (Mark 9:39b-41, NASB) Now, without doing an in-depth study, I will say that the context was a bit different then than it is now, but I believe that this verse is not taken out of context when applied now.

In a world that’s full of pharisees, I just don’t feel like being equated with “Christians” anymore. I don’t want to be stuck in the IWU bubble my whole life. I want my life to resemble Christ’s, and Christ’s life was anything but religious by the standards of his day. Don’t romanticize Jesus’ life and ministry. ‘Religious’ people hated him. He wasn’t preaching in front of huge congregations and broadcast to 176 countries around the world. He didn’t say the things that made him accepted by the church, or made him look good. He said the things that were true.
I read an article somewhere on the web (I forget where, and I’m too tired to look it up in my web history) where someone was saying he had a surefire way to bring in 9 out of 10 families who visited their Sunday School into their church. You know what it was? They had them over on Friday to play cards.
They would invite visiting couples over on Fridays to play cards with some of their other friends from church. The night involves playing cards, eating dessert, laughing, and just having a good time. What it doesn’t involve was ever saying anything about Jesus to them. They just befriended those church visitors, made them feel welcome, and got to know them for who they are. You know what? At the end of a year, of the ten couples this particular family had over, nine of them joined the church. Without ever preaching a word, or saying a word, they witnessed to those people by having a genuine, Christ-driven(love!) relationship with them. On the other side, of the other 50 families that visited that church, only 3 of them ended up becoming regular attenders. One of my all-time favorite quotes is by St. Francis. It simply says, “Preach the gospel. If necessary, use words.”

I’m tired of being associated with “Christians” who are voting on whether or not to have gay pastors. I’m tired of being associated with Christians who insist on shoving Jesus down everyone’s throat instead of building relationships, the effective way of reaching out. I’m tired of being associated with “Christians” who go to church on Sunday, and then live like the rest of the world the rest of the time.

I’m tired of being associated with Christians who don’t think we should ever have non-Christians in our worship teams, even if that is the only way that person will ever get into a church.

I quit being a Christian. I’ll never quit following Christ, and living a life that he has called me to. But I quit being a Christian. I want to be able to proclaim to people when I’m having a hard time. I want to be honsest with people and let them know it’s been a month since I’ve done my devotions. That ’s what real Christianity is. It’s not the peaches and cream we ascribe it to be. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about doing the best we can, despite our imperfections. Sometimes I don’t feel like being a Christian anymore. It doesn’t mean I’m not, just beacuse I have that feeling. Sometimes I have to question my entire belief system, including the existence of God himself. That doesn’t mean I’m not a Christian. I have doubts. I have questions. Sometimes I just don’t feel like doing it. That doesn’t make me any less of a Christian. No, the fact that I am open and honest about those things to me means that if anything, my relationship with God is just that much truer. No human relationship that’s worth anything is all about being perfect. My friends and I share all our emotions–the times when we feel great, and the times when we feel crappy. Telling God I’m doubting something about my faith doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me anymore, praise Him!

So be honest. Be open about your struggles. If not with others, at least with God. He already knows you feel that way, anyways!

So, it is with virulent disdain I say goodbye to Christianity. I’m not about pretending anymore. Out with Christianity. In with a true, honest, relationship with Jesus Christ–and the people he loved so much, he died for them.

As I was walking to work today, following the masses of people who go to chapel without ever giving a second thought to the job that my colleagues and I do to make chapel happen, there was a guy sitting at the doors ‘begging’ for money. It was another student, and he wasn’t poor.. but he had dressed that way and was begging for money to build a church in India. Now, I didn’t stop and talk with the guy to figure out exactly what he was doing, or if he could be trusted, I just kept walking because I had to be at work.
What got to me was the reaction of the girls in front of me. There were three of them, and my apologies for the stereotype, but they are those girls–you know, the kind who wear only the most stylish name brands, and who always have a cellphone attached to them, and who hang around with about five athletes, and date one, but only for the benefits. Anyways, as they were asked to donate to the church in India, they very briskly walked past (as did I) and went through the doors. Once inside, they began considering how much money they had, and how it was going to be better spent. What struck me the most was the last girl, who had only four dollars, but it was saved for a much more important purpose–going tanning.

But before I could drown myself in the acclaim of being so much more holy, and being willing to give my money to projects like that, one thing jumped out at me: I didn’t give anything, either. The moment quickly turned from being ‘their’ problem to being my problem. I was all of the sudden extremely convicted. God asked me to make an account for my money, and what I came up with wasn’t extremely reassuring.
I spent $35 today on music. I got four really great prices, and these CDs will be great next semester if the whole alternative worship service actually starts like I want it to (I got chillout music - volumes 5-8 of Cafe del Mar). I am doing heavy-duty research on a pack for hiking, which will be a combination of Christmas and birthday money, and will likely cost me anywhere from $79 - $199, depending on what I get. As soon as school is over this year, four of my friends and I are spending about $180/person to take a week-long trek into the rocky mountains. I spent $20 on food this weekend, and if I look at my debit card statement, average about 50 bones a month in fast food tabs. I spend a lot of money. And I honestly can’t even account for where most of it goes. So I’m having a pretty hard time right now justifying a lot of things. I’ve been meaning to sponsor a compassion international child for a while now, and just haven’t gotten around to it yet. I don’t have any lessons for tonight. Just questions for myself.

Have I spent my money well recently?
What of my spending went towards making an eternal difference?
What have I done to make an eternal difference?

I take my leave of the evening, a contrite and convicted man.

Combs, Eric and I went to Walmart for some last minute supplies, and then hit up Taco Bell for some late night goodness. While we were there, we noticed a couple of families, or at least family groups in line behind us. Eric started thinking about how these people represented so many in Marion…the poorest and neediest of our community. Seeing these people started in his mind the questioning of what exactly we’re doing as far as ministry. We started questioning first of all our own involvement, and secondly the involvement of our college in the community. 2500 college students who for 8 months of the year inhabit this town and effectively constitute one-tenth of its population. Yet aside from one chapel a year where they give out some numbers of ways to get involved, we do nothing. We sit here on our butts playing video games, or drinking coffee, or even doing homework. And it’s not that any of those things are bad, and homework is even necessary. But what impact do we have in the community? Little. Do we have some? Yes. But for a collective of 2500 people, not that much.
Somehow the conversation ended up leading to emerging worship, and a severe questioning of what we’re doing in church. I myself have been struggling a lot lately with the way we worship in general. Of course, I feel it is very important, and in fact the reason we were created, that we worship God. But I question so much the way we worship. Churches every year spend millions upon millions of dollars on technology for worship, but what do we gain from it? What is so important about singing hymns or praise choruses that it demands more effort and money than other ways we can worship, such as working with inner-city youth, or unwed mothers, or needy families? In the church of the 1st century, you wouldn’t have found a building where they had church. Yes, there were Jewish synagogues, but certainly no Christian churches. People met in houses, and their worship was an intimate gathering of friends, who are all fellow belivers. They shared meals together, shared communion together, and shared their worship and learning together in a small, tightly woven group. Yes, they also functioned in a larger corporate setting, as all the house churches in a town would be considered one church of a city, but the main focus was on the close intimacy that lends itself to accountability and discipleship.
I’ve come to realize this year that my group of friends, particularly the people who are in Chorale with me, in many ways act as my church body. True, I go to College Church on Sundays, but I get very lttle fellowship there, the fellowship I get is with my group of friends, and that is a great thing for me. So tonight, we began to talk about the possibility of experiencing this model of church in a personal way. While it’s still in the works, we are looking at once a week having house church, where after Chorale we would all gather for dinner, and then ave communion, and then have a time of worship and discipleship. The more we thought about it, the more excited we got, and I just wanted to share that with you, as it is still running through my mind. I also want to share with you a letter that has been challenging me recently. This letter was written circa AD 120, when the church had been established for 50 or 60 years. It is from Aristides to King Hadrian. To be honest, I don’t know who either of these men are, but it doesn’t really matter. The letter speaks for itself.

“Now the Christians, O King, by going about and seeking have found the truth. For they know and trust in God, the maker of heaven and earth, who has no fellow. From Him they received those commandments which they have engraved on ther minds, and which they observe in the hope and expectation to come.
For this reason they do not commit adultery or immorality, they do not bear flase witness, or embezzle, nor do they covet what is not theirs. They honor their father and mother, and do good to those who are their neighbors. Whenever they are judges, they judge uprightly. They do not worship idols made in the image of man. Whatever they do not wish others should do for them, they in turn do not do; and they do not eat the food sacrificed to idols.
Those who opress them they exhort and make them their friends. They do good to their enemies. Their wives, O King, are pure as virgins, and their daughters are modest. Their men abstain from all unlawful sexual contact and from impurity, in the hope of recompense that is to come in another world.
As for their bondmen, and their children, if there are any, they persuade them to become Christians; and when they have done so, they call them brethren without distinction.
They refuse to worship strange gods; and they go their own way in all humility and cheerfulness. Falsehood is not found among them. They love one another; the widow’s needs are not ignored, and they rescue the orphan from the person who does him violence. He who has gives to him who has not, ungrudgingly and without boasting. When the Christians find a stranger, they bring him to their homes and rejoice over him as a true brother. They do not call brothers those who are bound by blood ties alone, but hose who are brethren after the Spirit of God.
When one of their poor passes away from the world, each provides for his burial according to his ability. If they hear of any of their number who are imprisoned or oppressed for the name of the Messiah, they all provide for his needs, and if it possible to redeem him, they set him free.
If they find poverty in their midst, and they do not have a spare food, they fast two or three days in order that the needy might be supplied with the necessities. They observe scrupulously the commandments of their Messiah, living honestly and soberly as the Lord their god ordered them. Every morning and every hour they praise and thank God for his goodness to them; and for their food and drink they offer thanksgiving.
If any righteous person of their number passes away from the world, they rejoice and thank God, and escort his body as if he were setting out from one place to another nearby. When a child is born to one of them, they praise God. If it dies in infancy, they thank God the more, as for one who has passed through the world without sins. But if one of them dies in his iniquity or in his sins, they wouldgrieve bitterly and sorrow as over one who is about to meet his doom.
Such, O King, is the commandment given to the Christians, and such is their conduct.”

Wow. How do we stack up today?

Just so you know, I am leaving for Florida and spring break in about 2.5 hours. I have decided not to take my laptop with me, so I don’t know how much posting I’ll be able to do. Just post your thoughts anyways, and I’ll update you when I can.

By the time you read this, I’ll be in Florida.